Waiting For A Breakthrough – Poem

Who am I

A question we all ask but why

Looking for the meaning of life

Yet this life cuts like a knife

A wound deep beneath the skin

Almost like it was built-in

Why do I have this pain

Building up like a bad sprain

Everyone offers help to lift you up

But that is only a momentary pickup

So today who has reached out

Who has helped me with this doubt

I implore you to never give up

Stop trying to cover-up

All the pain that holds you down

All the pain that causes you to frown

All the pain that makes you feel let down

All the pain that makes you want to breakdown

There has to be more

Than what you can buy in the store

I want you to keep singing

Your voice always in my ear bringing

My spirit up

Even when I have a buildup

Of pain

All caught in my brain

But the easy answer

Is there is no cure for cancer

Who dealt me these cards

I have always been on guard

Trying to protect the ones I love

Keep them close to me like a glove

But no matter how hard I try

The end continues to draw nigh

I want to enjoy today

Please don’t push me away

I know you are scared

But that is why Jesus shared

His life on the cross

To remind satan that He was the boss

Today I plead with you

To let go of everything that is making you blue

It is time to restore all that is true

God’s word kicks evil like Kung Fu

I can’t pull you through

But if you have faith Jesus will come through

Can I ask you a question

Will you stop all the aggression

Will you begin with confession

This is just my suggestion

Faith removes the depression

And leaves a positive impression

We are made in the image of God

Except Adam & Eve allowed us to become flawed

Nonetheless by the grace of God

We can now applaud

For God has given us a way

So we will no longer betray

The Son of Man

This has been God’s plan

To sacrifice His only Son

He said “it is finished” & then it was done

God help me remain strong

All the day long

Even when life happens

Help me to continue laughing

I give my life to You

I am waiting for a breakthrough

Copyright 2017 KNG Music & Praise First Publishing

http://www.KNGMusicMinistry.com

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Love Is Tricky – Poem


Love isn’t just an emotion

Or even a magic potion

God designed it with a purpose

He provides a surplus

When you are all alone

You can feel Him in your bones

Your eyes can not see

But in the Trinity there is three

Why do we not trust

Broken down with rust

Bent out of shape

Pieced together with tape

Lord we hurt so much

We long for Your touch

Shine your light upon us

Help me not to cuss

So many thoughts trapped inside

How come I can’t find a bride

I want to feel complete

I want someone sweet

To have and to hold

Before I get too old

Show me your plan

Teach me to be a fisherman

Not just for someone for me

But also to help others see

That Your plan is better

For You I write this letter

Help me to love

Help me to find truelove

I am willing to trust my life to You

Make my dark skies turn blue

With Christ I can overcome

Help me to become

The person you made me to be

Together let’s agree

That alone I will fail

But with You I can sail

No longer left all alone

Because you have shown

Me how to love and expect nothing

Your love is very touching

With You I am made whole

I have finally found my self-control

Bring me someone special

I promise to be careful

Love them like You have loved me

Together we will cross the sea

Whatever it takes

No matter how high the stakes

We will give you the glory

And that is my story…

Hope Through Suffering – Sermon Notes

Thank you for joining us again at Faith Matters.  We are happy that you are here today to listen in to what God has placed on my heart.  For those of you that caught the last message, my leg is healing up nicely praise God!  I keep looking up at that tree and each time think of how it could have ended much differently, but God’s protection prevailed.  Today I don’t have a lot of back drop to share with how my week has been, but what I am going to share today is straight from my heart, please do not judge or hold any ill will against me, I think it is a must for me to share the struggles that I have been going through for the last 100 days.

Let’s open up with prayer.  Dear Lord, I pray that what I am about to discuss hits home with those who need this message.  Your people are battling some of things that I am going to cover on a daily basis.  Lord, help each of us to learn how to become more patient, slow to speak, slow to anger.  Without You Lord we can’t do it, but with You ALL things are possible.  God I thank you for pricking my heart and nudging me to share my story.  I pray that it helps others who are struggling.  Lord continue to use me, keep me humble, and let my words bring forth truth and give justice to the word of God.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

I wanted to share today the definition of broken:

  1. having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order.
  2. (of a person) having given up all hope; despairing. (defeated, beaten, subdued)

Broken can mean a lot of different things to different people.  What I want to talk about today is not an easy subject for me.  For the past 100+ days my wife has been battling with a headache that will not leave.  She has been seeing what they call “starbursts” in her vision.  She has been very weak, her skin has been sensitive just to a regular touch, and her feet have begun to hurt such that she can’t stand in place without have to lift one foot to give the other foot relief.  Instantly at this point you might say, “well, have you taken her to the doctor?”  Doctor visit has been her new middle name.  I wish we could buy stock in the doctor office because we have been there so many times this year.

What should have just been a possible sinus infection turned into so much more.  We went to our primary doctor to try and figure out what was going on.  The normal medicine didn’t seem to kick what we thought was a cold or maybe a sinus headache.  The pain in her head just kept going on and on.  The doctor began to order up the many different blood tests, she did a x-ray of her lower back where there was pain.  Lower back came back with some deterioration, but nothing out of the norm for a woman of her age.  All the blood test came back negative.  The doctor then ordered up a MRI and sent us to a neurologist.

The neurologist reviewed the MRI and compared it to the previous MRI and said that he couldn’t see anything wrong.  For most people this would be exciting, but for my wife it was nerve racking because the doctors still couldn’t explain her pain.  The neurologist advised to do some physical therapy on the neck at least once a week.  The physical therapy hasn’t really helped at all and the pain still continued.  I mentioned to her, “let’s get your eyes checked and see if the prescription needs to be updated.”  She scheduled that to be done and got her new pair of glasses, but that hasn’t helped the headache.  It is almost like no matter what we do, nothing is helping.  Have you ever been at that point?

As I am describing all of this to you, my wife has posted a few blogs about what she is facing.  Many people have offered prayers and that has been wonderful to see.  Some people expect that their prayer should heal my wife and the reality is that only God can heal her.  Don’t take this the wrong way, but if it is God’s will for her to suffer in this season then it won’t matter who prayers for her.  I say that with a grain of salt.  I don’t want my wife to suffer any moment longer and I have tried whatever I can, but to no avail at this point.  I told my wife, “what if God needs you to suffer right now so that you can reach and help others who are suffering?  So that you can share your story and bring them hope?”

2 Corinthians 12:1-10 Paul’s Visions and His Thorn

12 I must go on boasting. Though there is nothing to be gained by it, I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. 2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows. 3 And I know that this man was caught up into paradise—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows— 4 and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. 5 On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses— 6 though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. 7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

If Paul was allowed to suffer then how can we expect that God wouldn’t allow anyone of us to suffer also?  You see in pain our emotions become weak, but in that same weakness, God can show His strength.  Let me say that one more time.  You see in pain our emotions become weak, but in that same weakness, God can show His strength.

I don’t wish any pain upon anyone, but at least we should know that God is with us.  God will not give us more than we can handle.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Now this particular verse refers to temptation, but if we are weak, in pain, hurting, does our flesh not want to give up and fall to that temptation?  It is only in Christ that we can have the strength to not adhere to our flesh, but instead overcome the struggles.
Through all of this my wife has been a warrior.  She has not given up, she has battled and fought hard, but as this condition has set in, it has taken it’s toll on her.  The doctors have most recently come back and said that she has fibromyalgia.  For most of you, you probably are wondering what is that?  Don’t worry, I had to look up exactly what it was also.  As stated by the Mayo Clinic,

“Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

Women are much more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.

While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help.”

Even with that last statement being said, “there is no cure for fibromyalgia”, I serve a powerful God.  I know that if and when God wants to heal her from this He can do it.  I will continue to seek Him and pray for my wife.  This battle is just another chapter of the book the Lord is writing in my wife’s life.  I pray that God uses her testimony for help many others see that God is good and that God can still be found in the midst of this storm.

Now that I have tried to explain to the best of my ability what is going on with her life, I want to turn this story slightly.  Many times we hear about a story from the perspective of the person that is suffering from a disease, sickness, or illness, but we don’t always hear from their spouse.  This is not about me, look at what I am doing, or trying to get any glory, but instead open a door to a situation that many never see or hear about it.

When my wife tells me she is in pain, I am a guy and my built in instinct wants to fix her.  Guess what, I can’t!  I have tried and tried and tried some more, but I have still failed in trying to help heal my wife.  It hurts my heart to know that she is struggling.  Have you ever seen a wounded dove and another dove stays behind to help her?  That is me, I am here trying to help my wounded spouse recover, overcome, and get through the day to day tasks.  Each day it is becoming harder and harder to see my wife suffer.  I thought this was only a temporary headache; the longer it has gone on, the more concerned I have become.

Many times I have ask God why her?  My wife has done a 180 degree turn since I met her, she got saved, found a whole new meaning to life in Christ, started singing, released an album, serves in a small group, volunteers at numerous events, worked in nursery, serves in our youth group, Lord why her?  You see, this is the struggle that you never hear or see.  The spouse who wants to help, but the circumstances are much bigger than me.  Only God can do this, I can only pray and seek His face.

When my wife is sleeping in bed, I pray for her, I look at her and wish there was something more that I could do.  Many times she has thought I didn’t care about her symptoms, but really I couldn’t let her see me cry and breakdown.  If I am not strong for her then I feel like I am failing her.  I struggle with the fact that I am helpless.  In any other situation I could protect her, but from this illness, I can only watch from the sidelines.  Sure I do what I can around the house like cooking, cleaning, and laundry because she hasn’t had the energy, but is that really enough?  The next thing we wanted to do was adopt a child, we are currently at the final stages, and yet I am here thinking can we really handle another kid in this household?  Will God give me the strength to care for another?  I have plenty of love to give, but will I have the strength to carry my family plus another?  So many questions swirling around in my head, yet I know that God will carry me through.  I continue to pray and ask God for His direction.  I don’t want to step off His path, the plans that He has, but it can be so difficult.  This verse helps me get through:

Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
You see when things get rough, when it looks like there is no way out, my option is to turn to God, to turn to Him in prayer.  Just ask the Lord to help.  The mind is a crazy thing, it can wander, it will tell you that you are not good enough, it will tell you that you can’t do this, it will tell you to give up, it will tell you to turn and run, but my God is not that way.  God brings me peace about this; God is the only thing that is keeping the joy in my life. I am looking at it from a whole different perspective and looking at Lord there has to be a reason and a purpose for this. Lord, there has to be somebody who has to hear her testimony, how she has battled this pain, how she has overcome it, how she has continued to look to You to get through.

This has nothing to do with me.  I am merely her support, I am merely here to help her when she gets down, I am merely here point her back to God when she thinks she can’t do it anymore.  But I am still just a human, I am still just a man and sometimes I can let doubt creep into my own life.  And I have to turn back and say alright Lord I need you to right my path, I need You to hold me up, I need you to give me everything that I need to get through today.

For those of you out there struggling, with so many different diseases and syndromes, lots of different things out there, I am not going to try and name them all.  There are so many different ones that people are battling from.  There is ones that I can’t even pronounce.  I saw someone the other day talking about this disease that they have and trying to encourage my wife and that they have been overcoming.  I have never even heard of the disease.  It can be scary, there are many things out there that the enemy will try to use to bring us down and keep us down.  You got to get back in the word, you have to read the scriptures.  The scriptures will bring you peace, the scriptures will give you strength, the scriptures will cause you to rise up and continue to stand tall, continue to stand upon the rock of the Lord.

I am going to close us out with prayer.   Heavenly Father I thank you, thank you for this opportunity to speak and really speak from my heart.  To expose the pain, trials, and suffering that I am going through in my own life Lord.  This was such a difficult message to write.  I have so much of my own pain and emotion that I have not let out and I have just been bottling it in and if I keep bottling it in then eventually I am just going to explode like a volcano.  Lord I pray for all of those out there that are suffering.  Whatever they are suffering from, I pray for them.  I pray for those who are trying to help them deal and cope to get through that suffering because they also need our prayers Lord, they also need Your strength.  Lord please be with us, be with us every day Lord and help keep us strong and help guide us Lord.  In the name of Jesus I pray, amen.

I want to thank you for taking a moment to listen.  If you need to reach out to me you can do so on Twitter @KNGMusic or on our website http://www.KNGMusicMinistry.com  I hope that things that we are posting are encouraging you.  One of the biggest things that we are trying to do is be real.  It is so easy to look at a preacher or a pastor or someone on TV and see all the good moments, you never see the bad stuff and think of wow they have such a perfect life.  There is no such thing as a perfect life; there is always something that we are going through as people, as humans, even as a Christian there is always a battle, there is always a struggle.  If you read through the Bible you will see it, it is never an easy road, there is always something going on, there is always a lesson that had to be learned.  There is always something that someone had to overcome.  Whatever you are going through, you are not alone, don’t give up, and keep pressing forward.  You found this message for some reason, and I hope that encourages you.  I hope the things that we are doing is not just so you can like it, RT it, or share it with someone else.  I hope it is encouraging, I hope it causes you to seek a deeper relationship with the Lord.  That is the real goal, purpose, everything to point people to Jesus, to point them to the truth.  Teach them how to go back, look at the scriptures, read it, absorb it, and use it to help build them up.  Well, before I start preaching again, let me just close it out.  Thank you for joining, have a blessed day.

This was my wife’s next blog post after listening to my podcast:

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/15102187/posts/1416128489

How Can I Do This? [Vision]

plan

In my last post, I talked about all of the things that God has placed on my plate for the Kingdom.  There is one thing that I haven’t shared yet and it was a vision that He gave me.  Looking at how big this is my first thought was “how can I do this?”  My next thought was “where would I get the money to fund something like that?”  I started to think that maybe my wife would write a hit record, sell lots of albums, and then we could fund it.  That is a long shot, but it could happen.  I then started to realize that I was putting limitations on God and what He could do.  I am not asking for money so please don’t think that.  I know that when it is a God thing then God opens the door for you.  I recently found a property downtown that had 4 buildings on it that need a lot of work, but could house 4 families and I started to ask myself, “is this it God?”

By now I am sure you are dying to know what my vision was.  Lets just say people have been telling me for years to open a restaurant.  I used to be a manager at a restaurant and everyone loves my cooking for dinner, but that wasn’t my calling.  Do you know that God trains you along the way for something that is bigger than you?

My next calling was for the young men in this world and God called me to teach Royal Rangers at my church for 8 years.  I loved teaching the boys about God, camping, tying knots, doing crafts, but God still put a burning desire for me to reach more people.

Then the KNGMusic ministry started out by doing one YouTube video that has turned into 10+.  God led us to start a Christian Record Label and publishing company.  We have written music that we felt people needed to hear because it touched our hearts.  We want to be able to draw people closer to God by producing music for others but God didn’t stop there.

Even better was when a radio station asked me to start doing a podcast / sermon / Bible study that they could play over the air waves.  Instantly I told myself that I wasn’t trained enough to do that, but God nudged me.  Today, He has me doing a weekly Bible study and it is reaching hundreds of people around the world.  Okay God, can you really top this?

Now to my vision…

God showed me like a clear day at the beach that I would create a loving atmosphere for families that have lost everything and hit rock bottom.  I would have almost like a hotel type setting where the families would live, help around the hotel, learn new trades, I would help them rebuild financially based upon God’s principles, and then 6 to 12 months send them back into the world rebuilt, restored, and armed with the promises of God.  The cooking that I learned would come into play because I would live there with them and cook a big meal like we are all family before the eyes of God.  The teaching Rangers would come into play because of the different crafts, techniques, Bible verses, and heart for the kids.  The music would be an option to help fund the vision as a non-profit.  I would pray that those who came through the program and then became successful again in the world would help to fund pieces of the vision to create a snow ball effect to reach more and more people.

I don’t know what God’s big plan is, but I wanted to share what He has placed on my heart.  I know that when the time is right everything will fall into place.  I only ask for your prayers as my family continues to seek out God’s will for our lives.

Tonight my family went to visit and spend time with some foster kids and all I could think was, “how much more could I be doing for The Lord?”

Be with me in prayer for I know that The Lord is working around the clock on this puzzle.

God’s Purpose for You

Each person goes through life trying to understand what to live for. God has opened new doors and continues to do so. I know not everyone believes in God on my friends list but if your life is just to get up to go to work, come home to nothing, and go hang out with friends, wouldn’t you want to have more? There is a purpose for each person no matter your age or your past. Once you find God in your life, the world starts to look differently. Once God reveals your purpose, you finally realize the big picture He has been painting the whole time. God can’t give you the easy street because we won’t appreciate His blessings; we are molded into perfection by trials. If you asked me if I would ever be a preacher or a pastor, I would have told you no way. I don’t have enough knowledge or understanding of the Bible. The more I pushed away from it, the more that God has been showing me the wisdom He has placed in my heart. I am far from perfect but a vessel that God has chosen to reach those that are lost. I am truly blessed to be making videos & talking to people daily about God and what He has done for me. My Faith and my walk have been rising to new heights. God has been constantly using other people to speak blessings over my family. You don’t really have a walk with Christ until you are ready to listen to His will and be obedient. I am ready Lord; continue to use me for your purpose so that all may know you are the one true God that is alive today.

What is your Spiritual Gift?

Today is Sunday and it started out like any other Sunday morning – getting up to make breakfast, getting the kids ready to go, and then heading out to the car.  We had to leave a little early so that I could pick up my son’s girlfriend for church.  My car only seats 4 people so we had to drop off two people first and then head to her house.  After making it back to church the second time with all of our passengers, we entered into the sanctuary and realized it was still early.  I walked over and talked to some of the deacons which I don’t always get to do.  If you always get to church right on time or late, you really miss out on being able to have meaningful conversations with your brothers and sisters instead of just a quick handshake.

The worship music started up and it was time to prepare myself to lift my voice unto The Lord.  I kept looking around the sanctuary and Kristeen asked,  “what is wrong”?  I told her “nothing, I am good”.  I tend to have moments when I can feel that the Holy Spirit is wanting me to do something but I don’t always know what.  I was looking around to see who God needed me to reach out too.  As we were singing the first song, it hit me like a cold chill that came down the back of my neck into my fingertips.  I was told to reach out to one of my sisters in Christ. God gave me a vision of what to say to her.  I am not one that wants to put any name or title on the gifts that God has given; instead I prefer to just give Him the glory for blessing me with special abilities.

Her husband was standing right next to her so I didn’t have enough room to walk over and speak the words I was given.  I saw that in the next song she was crying, I thought to go grab a tissue and bring it to her, but something kept me at my seat.  This whole time during the worship service, I was waiting upon The Lord to show me when to give her His words.  After worship finishes, we normally have a meet and greet with those around us.  I walked up to her and said, “I have words that I am supposed to tell you. You are the right hand of the Father, an extension of Him that reaches out to these people to touch their lives.”  I am slightly paraphrasing because when the Spirit comes over me, I speak words and can’t always remember what I say.  She began to weep in my arms and said, “I got another one, I got another one.”  I wasn’t quite sure what she meant so I had to ask her to explain.  This women has been helping others that are in need, whether it is for a bed, baby clothes, an electric bill, a wedding dress; whatever the need she feels the call to step in and be the person that God uses to fill their needs.  She explained to me that “I have another woman that is pregnant and due in 10 weeks that is in need of baby stuff”.

We are each given different Spiritual Gifts from God.  What are you doing with what God gave you?  If we each went out of our comfort zone and let go of our worries we would see a move of God across this country.  We have more than enough Christians in this country to have a revival that finishes sweeping the world so that The Lord will return.  We are called to go out into the world and make disciples.  How many people have you reached for God?  If you don’t reach out then you will never touch the life of someone else.  I am one of the shyest men out there but The Lord has called me into his service. I have been recruited by my God to seek out the lost and offer them the Savior.