Can I Have A Real Moment With You?

Lately I have been asked even more, “how is your wife doing?” Overall the fact that she is still here with us has been the biggest blessing ever. I thank God daily for each day and even each moment that I get to spend with her.

We used to love going on long walks together. We would talk about the future, share stories of our past, and even share thoughts about growing our family. So much has changed in such a short time.

Yesterday I had to explain to a coworker that my wife has a hard time just letting the dogs outside. God has done an amazing thing by healing Kristeen enough to get her off of the oxygen, but the battle she still faces today is her heart rate jumps up to 140 bpm anytime she gets up to walk or even standing to brush her teeth.

At this point Kristeen is not even able to walk around a store with me, she can’t do the simple things like go grocery shopping, and even trying on clothes because she has lost weight is a struggle, but no matter how much life has changed for us, God has still showed us that He is in control.

I don’t mind pushing my wife around in a wheel chair. We have been to the zoo plenty of times with the kids and each time I push her all over the park. My bride is my gift from the Lord and no matter how much “work” I have to do because of the cancer, I do it willingly because I love my wife.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have my moments when I become short tempered. I have to constantly remind myself to be patient and loving each time Kristeen calls my name because she needs something. She is not doing it because she is lazy, but instead because she needs me now more than ever. I have to submit to her needs and serve her.

I don’t know what the future holds but I serve a God that knows it all and what we will face. People try to tell me that I am strong but I remind them that I am weak and my strength is found in the Lord. I can’t imagine facing difficulty without God on my side.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

The doctor said we might have 6 months if no treatment or maybe a year with treatment. So far it is been 10 months since we found out about the stage 4 Lung Cancer and each time we see God defying the doctors prognosis we give Him the glory. A doctor can only do what he knows, but God is the true healer. God can heal when medicine can’t.

I don’t know what you are facing today, but I ask you, have you come to God in prayer about that situation? If you are trying to do it alone the weight will be too much to handle. Call upon the name of the Lord and exercise that faith! Just like our physical bodies, our spiritual body needs to be used consistently.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.


If You Only Knew – Poem

If you only knew

What happened when I was through

I tried to give up

But for some reason God refilled my cup

I tried to run away

But God called me back and invited me to stay

How many times must I try to run

Every time my life comes undone

My pain is more than I can bear

Which is why I cry to Jesus because this world is not fair

Broken relationships almost did me in

Then I was reminded of how Jesus forgives our sin

But God you just don’t understand

How many times I have been burnt, I can’t count them on one hand

Lord I can’t do this anymore

I keep falling and hitting the floor

Why can’t you end this life of mine

You are in charge not Father Time

No matter what the score

I can’t come back anymore

This game is over, I am finished

I was strong like Popeye and his spinach

But then reality set in

And I finally gave in

How can I face tomorrow

When today already has me in sorrow

You don’t understand

I have always been banned

Turned away

Every person pushed, that came my way

But now You say it will all be okay?

How do You know, this pain won’t go away

I pray and pray and ask to be set free

But the shade continues to come like an oak tree

Caught up in darkness no matter how hard I fight

Jesus I think it is time to turn off this light

And say goodnight

Then I will be alright

Stuck in darkness with nothing to see

I don’t think You have the power to break me free

I should have been gone a long time ago

But You came and sat next to me like a bro

God my pain it causes such strain

Just like my newspaper caught in the rain

The words are beginning to smear

Please take away all my fear

I know I can’t do this alone

But thank God You are sitting upon the throne

Help me God to over come

Remove everything that has caused me to become numb

I pray dear God that today will change

I am tired of feeling so strange

My bride needs You more than me

Yet my own fear is all I can see

Lord we pray for continued healing

You know how hard I have been dealing

Trying to get past what satan has been stealing

Back on my knees I continue kneeling

Praying for something more

Praying you will open a new door

We need a breakthrough in her body and for my soul

Restore what satan has stole

God my heart is weak

I come before You, the outcome looks bleak

Please dear God give me more time

The time has come for me to end this rhyme

Waiting For A Breakthrough – Poem

Who am I

A question we all ask but why

Looking for the meaning of life

Yet this life cuts like a knife

A wound deep beneath the skin

Almost like it was built-in

Why do I have this pain

Building up like a bad sprain

Everyone offers help to lift you up

But that is only a momentary pickup

So today who has reached out

Who has helped me with this doubt

I implore you to never give up

Stop trying to cover-up

All the pain that holds you down

All the pain that causes you to frown

All the pain that makes you feel let down

All the pain that makes you want to breakdown

There has to be more

Than what you can buy in the store

I want you to keep singing

Your voice always in my ear bringing

My spirit up

Even when I have a buildup

Of pain

All caught in my brain

But the easy answer

Is there is no cure for cancer

Who dealt me these cards

I have always been on guard

Trying to protect the ones I love

Keep them close to me like a glove

But no matter how hard I try

The end continues to draw nigh

I want to enjoy today

Please don’t push me away

I know you are scared

But that is why Jesus shared

His life on the cross

To remind satan that He was the boss

Today I plead with you

To let go of everything that is making you blue

It is time to restore all that is true

God’s word kicks evil like Kung Fu

I can’t pull you through

But if you have faith Jesus will come through

Can I ask you a question

Will you stop all the aggression

Will you begin with confession

This is just my suggestion

Faith removes the depression

And leaves a positive impression

We are made in the image of God

Except Adam & Eve allowed us to become flawed

Nonetheless by the grace of God

We can now applaud

For God has given us a way

So we will no longer betray

The Son of Man

This has been God’s plan

To sacrifice His only Son

He said “it is finished” & then it was done

God help me remain strong

All the day long

Even when life happens

Help me to continue laughing

I give my life to You

I am waiting for a breakthrough

Copyright 2017 KNG Music & Praise First Publishing

Love Is Tricky – Poem

Love isn’t just an emotion

Or even a magic potion

God designed it with a purpose

He provides a surplus

When you are all alone

You can feel Him in your bones

Your eyes can not see

But in the Trinity there is three

Why do we not trust

Broken down with rust

Bent out of shape

Pieced together with tape

Lord we hurt so much

We long for Your touch

Shine your light upon us

Help me not to cuss

So many thoughts trapped inside

How come I can’t find a bride

I want to feel complete

I want someone sweet

To have and to hold

Before I get too old

Show me your plan

Teach me to be a fisherman

Not just for someone for me

But also to help others see

That Your plan is better

For You I write this letter

Help me to love

Help me to find truelove

I am willing to trust my life to You

Make my dark skies turn blue

With Christ I can overcome

Help me to become

The person you made me to be

Together let’s agree

That alone I will fail

But with You I can sail

No longer left all alone

Because you have shown

Me how to love and expect nothing

Your love is very touching

With You I am made whole

I have finally found my self-control

Bring me someone special

I promise to be careful

Love them like You have loved me

Together we will cross the sea

Whatever it takes

No matter how high the stakes

We will give you the glory

And that is my story…

They Hanged Jesus & They Want ME Too!

I keep telling people I have changed,

They keep yelling that I need to be hanged,

Why can’t I get a break,

They just want to grab my trach,

Maybe you should hang me up,

Wrap around my neck so I yell like a pup,

How many times do I have to run,

Back to the same old drum,

That keeps beating my head in,

With the same old sin,

You see I am not who I once was,

God saved me just because,

He loved me like He loves you,

That is why I keep spitting the truth,

Maybe one day you will see,

Why Jesus wants to set you free,

I keep crying like there’s no tomorrow,

Because you keep thinking you can borrow,

More time like you own a Delorean, 

When really you aren’t even a historian,

It takes 1.21 gigawatts to make you think,

That’s why they call you chicken with all that pink,

So Doc I ask you,

How can I get back at you,

The future where Jesus has me,

Set to receive Him so I can see,

That there is no other option,

Come back to God like there’s an auction,

He paid that price,

So don’t make me tell you twice!


Copyright 2016

God Change Me, But Don’t Change That!

I asked God to change me, I asked God to use me, I asked God to show me more, I asked God to give me a purpose in life. God answered, God changed my life, not the way I wanted but the way He had to. I didn’t realize how far off my Christian walk was until God started rearranging my entire life. You can read your Bible, attend Church, and yet be a dead Christian. That was me for so many years and yet I never even realized it. Don’t let years and years of your life go by before you decide to cry out to God. Call upon The Lord today and let God point out all of the things that you are doing wrong. Nobody is perfect but you can’t get any better if you aren’t willing to change. Give God the steering wheel in your life, jump in the back seat of the car, and stop trying to give directions to God while He is driving. When God is leading your life you will reach your destination right on time!

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A Opened Door To Encourage, A Closed Door To Guide You

Open Doors

I found out today that the radio station playing my sermons will no longer be broadcasting. Upon hearing this sad news, I started thinking back to how this all started. God was there when the radio station asked me to start doing a weekly Bible study they could air on the station. Honestly, I was scared at first so it was definitely a leap of faith moving forward with their request. Since then, I have poured out my heart, shared my testimony, and used this platform in 46 different episodes to reach others with the love of Christ. Some might think it’s time to close up shop, pack my bags, and move on but God has been challenging me with new doors. Could God be telling me something by closing this door?

Recording my weekly sermons behind a computer has turned into the opportunity to preach live in front of the youth group as well as a boys and girls home. My wife and I have been discussing where God is going to lead us next. Is full time ministry my calling? At this point, I am not 100% sure, but I will continue to pray about how God will use me. Please be in prayer with me that as I finish my current degree, the Holy Spirit will lead me into the next direction God wants me to take. He has blessed us so much in the past two years that I can’t even thank Him enough. I am looking forward to what the future holds and which door God will be opening next.

I am writing this not to say goodbye, but to let you know that just because the first door closed doesn’t mean it’s over. I feel like God is spurring me to press on and go deeper. I can’t stop now. I have heard so much feedback about how my sermons have helped change the lives of others. There is even a group in South Africa that listens to them together and then discusses what each person got out of it.  How amazing is that?  Only God could do such a thing!

When Dreams Don’t Come True – Sermon Notes

Thank you for joining us here at Faith Matters.  This week has been a little nerve racking, not in a bad way, but just on pins and needles.  My wife and I are trying to buy a house and for anyone that has ever gone through that process it can be draining.  I don’t want to share all of the details just yet because I feel there is a sermon brewing with how all of this came about.  So in the coming weeks ahead I will have to explain how God told us no, and then not yet, and then yes.  Until everything with the house comes to pass please be in prayer with us that God will allow us to get this house so that our family can continue to grow and we are able to use it to minister with others.

Let us open up in prayer, Heavenly Father you are so good.  I love it when you challenge my own faith to go deeper, Lord I pray that you will continue to use me as a tool to direct people back to you.  Lord let my words be encouraging to those who hear, let my thoughts remain pure and pleasing unto you, I pray that today anyone listening will be uplifted and receive You, in Your name I pray, Amen.

Before we dig into this message too far, I want to give you a definition of the word dream.

  1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.
  2. the sleeping state in which this occurs.
  3. an object seen in a dream.
  4. an involuntary vision occurring to a person when awake.
  5. a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie.
  6. an aspiration; goal; aim:
  7. a wild or vain fancy.

So when I say the word dream or dreams, what do you picture?  What will it take for you to achieve your dreams?  For some of us we probably haven’t thought about our future dreams, goals, or aspirations since we were much younger.  My parents always tell me that I am the dreamer in the family.  I see things differently than other people, I don’t just see what is before me, I also see the possibility of what is to come.

Here is something that I found on the urban dictionary with the word D.R.E.A.M. broken down:

D – Dedication/Desire

R – Responsibilty

E – Education

A – Atitude

M – Motivation

You Need DESIRE, Will Power To Achieve Act Grown Up Take On RESPONSIBILTY Go To School You Need EDUCATION Keep A Positive ATITUDE With You Set A Goal To MOTIVATE Yourself

By now I am sure you would like to know why I keep talking about dreams in such a manner.  Just recently my son mentioned to me again about baseball and that I should have never stopped playing.  My dream about playing baseball in Major League Baseball was crushed many years ago, but sometimes I do like to ask myself what if?

As a child I grew up in San Diego, California and I loved to watch and play baseball.  You would think my favorite team would be the San Diego Padres, but my favorite team was actually the Atlanta Braves.  The reason is actually quite simple, due to the time zone on the East Coast the Braves games always started 3 hours earlier so I could actually watch them before it was bed time.  I would have the TV on almost every day enjoying the baseball game and yes I was doing my homework at the same time.  The commercial breaks gave me plenty of time in between to finish all of my homework before my parents got home.

My friend Joey and I loved baseball so much that we would play it in the street outside the front of the house.  Don’t worry we didn’t use a real baseball because we would have broken a bunch of windows so we replaced it with a tennis ball.  I can remember many countless evenings that we would be outside playing until the sun went down.  So growing up I played baseball every year on the local league until one day came the big day when I was finally able to try out for my high school baseball team in 9th grade.  I was really excited but really nervous at the same time.

Here was my big chance.  Now my whole life I always played first base but when I was going to try out I realized that they already had that guy picked and so I if I wanted to make the team then I would need to try a different position.  I tried out for Right Field instead, I knew every position like the back of my hand, I knew every rule in the book, I knew when to throw to which base, so I was pretty confident that I could handle this.  I did well in my tryouts, did everything they asked me to do in the field.  We went from one drill to the next, I caught the ball, I threw the ball, and I was excited for the next part.  Now came time to show if I could hit the ball.

Now I was one of the few people that could bat left handed and right handed.  I did very well from both sides of the plate, but right handed was my strongest side.  The coach pitched one ball after another and I was able to show them I could connect with no problem.  Now came the last pitch, he threw it right down the plate and I gave it my best swing, I made contact, not just a normal hit, but this ball kept soaring up and up, and landed over the fence into the tennis courts.  I was excited, I was able to show them my home run skills in tryouts.

The next day is when they announced who made the team.  We were all there at the beginning of practice waiting to hear our names called.  One by one the coach called out the names.  He said those dreadful words “last but not least…” my heart was racing with anticipation, but the last name called was not me.  It hurt, I won’t sugar coat that, I was the only person that hit a home run, I did all my drills, I didn’t blame God, but I couldn’t understand it.  As I walked home I had plenty of time to cool off on my two mile hike with my back pack from school and all my baseball gear.

Sometimes when we feel defeat, it isn’t really defeat, it just appears that way.  We must remember what the word of God says:

1 Peter 5:7  Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

I went to school the next day, asking my friends who made the team because in the heat of the moment I couldn’t remember everyone that made it and I found out that one of my friends Ryan made the team.  I was excited for him but yet upset at the same time.  You see, he wasn’t very good, frankly he was big, slow, and not good at all.  I couldn’t understand why coach picked him over me.  But I did find out why in the end and then it hurt me even more for doubting.  I found out that my friend Ryan was diagnosed with Cancer and this could be his last year alive.

This whole time I was so caught up in me me me that I was blinded by the reality that was at hand.  Do you ever get that way when you think it is all about you?  It is like a snowball effect, it starts out small and innocent, but then we get wrapped up in it and nothing else matters but self.  I let my anger blind me.

James 1:19-20  Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

So that was my 9th grade tryouts for baseball and then my parents received orders to move to Charleston.  So for my 10th grade tryouts I had to convince people that have never seen me play baseball that I could play.  I did make the team and played on our junior varsity team for Summerville High School.  I didn’t get to start but I did make my impression on the team.

Let’s fast forward to my 11th grade tryout, you would think since I played on the JV team that I would make the varsity team right?  Well not so, sometimes politics come into play and there is nothing you can do.  I just shook my head and said well God, if you don’t want me to play baseball then I guess I am done.  Once the season was over a coach reached out to me and asked if I wanted to play on the American Legion team, which if I understood correctly is where the all-stars from the high schools play during the summer.  In my mind I was like okay, thank you Lord, a second chance.  I played, I had fun, and I would definitely do it all over again.

I saw all of this to tell you this, just because one door closes doesn’t mean that you should give up or toss in the towel.  God has a unique way of directing our paths.  I can clearly tell you today that the main reason I wanted to play professional baseball wasn’t just because I loved the game, it was also because of the money.  I am pretty certain that God knew that and was steering me away from my own self destruction.

Now my oldest every now and then asks me why didn’t you keep playing?  I have to remind him that if I did he wouldn’t be here today.  I love the game, but that wasn’t where God wanted me to be.

If you have a dream I am not saying to stop trying to chase it, but I am saying does your dream line up with what God has in store for your life?  Are you chasing your dream because of your own desires or what God has placed in your heart?  You see, when you are a little kid and everyone asks you “what do you want to be when you grow up”, nobody ever tells you that what you want may not be what God wants.  I think they left that out of the textbooks in school.

I am not bitter about my baseball experience, I do wonder sometimes if the Altanta Braves would have drafted me, a left handed first basemen, I would have played well alongside Chipper Jones.  But that was then and this is now.

Today God has given me a burning desire to reach the lost.  I cherish every moment, every thought; every tweet that I feel led to post on social media.  I feel like God has given me my own niche in this world and as it develops even further I thank Him every day for His grace.

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to listen to my own personal testimony.  My life goals and dreams may be different than yours, but I pray that you have found out what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  In Him we are found, In Him we are made whole, in Him the weak are made strong.  I pray that the words spoken today have touched your heart, don’t let the flesh take over what you are trying to accomplish, when you lose control cry out to The Lord, and let Him bring you back to the playing field.

If you would like to contact me you can do so on Twitter @KNGMusic or on our website at Thank you for stopping to listen, we greatly appreciate your time and we pray that you have been blessed.  Have an awesome day in The Lord.

Do you know who holds the future?

I have been traveling down a long road and have finally come to the turning point. I am ready to move forward and leave my past behind me. People are questioning me and the decisions I am making. I feel like God has been the driving force in helping me get through a broken marriage and yet healing my heart to love again. I told my fiancée at the time I met her that we were not compatible and that I didn’t want any relationships. Yet time and time again it felt like God was getting us together to talk and interact. I told her this isn’t going to be easy, this is going to be an uphill battle. I can’t trust a woman again after everything I have gone through. Kristeen told me not to worry and she would be transparent in everything she did. She overly communicated with me to help build a foundation of trust.

People think I am moving to fast, people think I am doing everything for the wrong reasons, but how do they know? They are not living in my house, they do not know my daily life that I live out each day. I have turned to God during all my heartache because who else would listen, who else would completely understand my situation? God did! God put His arm around me and said you are going to be okay. I am now coming out of my tunnel and looking to keep down the track that God has set before me. I have learned not to seek the opinions of others because everyone has their own thoughts about how to move forward. I have put my trust in God and that He alone will guide me along this track until He decides it is time for me to change my position.

I have given my heart to Kristeen because she has captured it with her tender kindness. I tell her daily how blessed I feel to have someone that steps in to help, loves on my kids, and completely understands my emotions. Marriage is not about finding the best looking or richest partner, but more about finding someone that wants to grow with you and work with you. There is no such thing as an easy marriage, it takes hard work, communication, and an understanding that the union of two people becoming one must last no matter what comes against it. I have dedicated myself to Kristeen and I have received her oath as well to become one body before God. Together we shall look to do the will of God. We shall seek out what God has planned for our lives and let Him open the doors.

All I ask of you my fellow brethren is that you continue to pray for our relationship and all of the other couples that have decided to give their lives to each other. Marriage is tough but we ask that instead of taking sides when it gets tough, give advise for those couples to search out God and seek wisdom from The Lord to guide them.