As I Sit & Wait… – Poem

As I sit and wait

What will be your fate

I cry tears of sorrow

Not knowing what will come tomorrow

I pray for the best

But really deep inside I am a mess

I have to be strong

Even when you ask me what’s wrong

I miss the days when you would sing a song

You really helped me get along

You showed me how to feel

Even when I didn’t want to be real

I forever owe you a debt

But I am so glad we met

My first words to you were, “we are not compatible”

But neither one of us realized how valuable

We would become to each other

I told you, “one day we would drive to NJ to see your mother”

All of these events that had to take place

To make room and carve out a new space

God always knows what is best

Even amid these very tests

Don’t worry what may come

We must enjoy today, down to the last crumb

God forgive me for not slowing down sooner

I need You to adjust my tuner

So I can pick up every thought

And weave it into my life with a knot

Never to let go of what You give

Yet constantly learning to forgive

Lord be with us today

Keep us and don’t let us stray

For in Your arms

Is where we belong

Hold us tight

And tell us everything will be alright. 🙏

Copyright 2018 KNG Music & Praise First Publishing


Can I Have A Real Moment With You?

Lately I have been asked even more, “how is your wife doing?” Overall the fact that she is still here with us has been the biggest blessing ever. I thank God daily for each day and even each moment that I get to spend with her.

We used to love going on long walks together. We would talk about the future, share stories of our past, and even share thoughts about growing our family. So much has changed in such a short time.

Yesterday I had to explain to a coworker that my wife has a hard time just letting the dogs outside. God has done an amazing thing by healing Kristeen enough to get her off of the oxygen, but the battle she still faces today is her heart rate jumps up to 140 bpm anytime she gets up to walk or even standing to brush her teeth.

At this point Kristeen is not even able to walk around a store with me, she can’t do the simple things like go grocery shopping, and even trying on clothes because she has lost weight is a struggle, but no matter how much life has changed for us, God has still showed us that He is in control.

I don’t mind pushing my wife around in a wheel chair. We have been to the zoo plenty of times with the kids and each time I push her all over the park. My bride is my gift from the Lord and no matter how much “work” I have to do because of the cancer, I do it willingly because I love my wife.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have my moments when I become short tempered. I have to constantly remind myself to be patient and loving each time Kristeen calls my name because she needs something. She is not doing it because she is lazy, but instead because she needs me now more than ever. I have to submit to her needs and serve her.

I don’t know what the future holds but I serve a God that knows it all and what we will face. People try to tell me that I am strong but I remind them that I am weak and my strength is found in the Lord. I can’t imagine facing difficulty without God on my side.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

The doctor said we might have 6 months if no treatment or maybe a year with treatment. So far it is been 10 months since we found out about the stage 4 Lung Cancer and each time we see God defying the doctors prognosis we give Him the glory. A doctor can only do what he knows, but God is the true healer. God can heal when medicine can’t.

I don’t know what you are facing today, but I ask you, have you come to God in prayer about that situation? If you are trying to do it alone the weight will be too much to handle. Call upon the name of the Lord and exercise that faith! Just like our physical bodies, our spiritual body needs to be used consistently.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Hear My Cry Oh Lord – Poem

So now I sit and wait

Wondering if it is too late

Waiting for answers to my questions

Everyone giving me suggestions

Oh what a journey this has been

Asking God when when when

When will this be over

When will Your healing spillover

Day and night we pray

That she will reach her next birthday

Lord we need more time

We know You are working overtime

All of our needs we bring before You

We know there is still much to do

We call upon Your name

The name of Jesus we claim

We cry out with our souls

Please make Kristeen whole

Each day brings new circumstances

Yet You have provided for all of our finances

God you amaze

Our hearts set ablaze

We believe You raised

Jesus Christ as everyone gave praise

Do it again Lord

We pray in one accord

We call upon Thee

To set Kristeen free

Bind up that cancer

You are the only answer

May all the people see

In Jesus name cancer does flee

We place our faith in You

Please make Kristeen brand new

I have entered my cry

Now I wait for Your reply…

Copyright 2018 KNG Music & Praise First Publishing

Waiting For A Breakthrough – Poem

Who am I

A question we all ask but why

Looking for the meaning of life

Yet this life cuts like a knife

A wound deep beneath the skin

Almost like it was built-in

Why do I have this pain

Building up like a bad sprain

Everyone offers help to lift you up

But that is only a momentary pickup

So today who has reached out

Who has helped me with this doubt

I implore you to never give up

Stop trying to cover-up

All the pain that holds you down

All the pain that causes you to frown

All the pain that makes you feel let down

All the pain that makes you want to breakdown

There has to be more

Than what you can buy in the store

I want you to keep singing

Your voice always in my ear bringing

My spirit up

Even when I have a buildup

Of pain

All caught in my brain

But the easy answer

Is there is no cure for cancer

Who dealt me these cards

I have always been on guard

Trying to protect the ones I love

Keep them close to me like a glove

But no matter how hard I try

The end continues to draw nigh

I want to enjoy today

Please don’t push me away

I know you are scared

But that is why Jesus shared

His life on the cross

To remind satan that He was the boss

Today I plead with you

To let go of everything that is making you blue

It is time to restore all that is true

God’s word kicks evil like Kung Fu

I can’t pull you through

But if you have faith Jesus will come through

Can I ask you a question

Will you stop all the aggression

Will you begin with confession

This is just my suggestion

Faith removes the depression

And leaves a positive impression

We are made in the image of God

Except Adam & Eve allowed us to become flawed

Nonetheless by the grace of God

We can now applaud

For God has given us a way

So we will no longer betray

The Son of Man

This has been God’s plan

To sacrifice His only Son

He said “it is finished” & then it was done

God help me remain strong

All the day long

Even when life happens

Help me to continue laughing

I give my life to You

I am waiting for a breakthrough

Copyright 2017 KNG Music & Praise First Publishing

We Didn’t Plan This – Poem

How can you understand

Cancer was never planned

How did this happen

Where is your compassion

People complaining about nothing

Always talking about something

Yet this pain is not leaving

Here I am grieving

The world constantly deceiving

Yet the sheep are still unbelieving

How can I move forward

The questions sound like a broken recorder

How is she doing

Questions sound like they are interviewing

We are waiting on a miracle

Something that is biblical

Not searching for “a” healer

Yet constantly checking for a fever

Looking for “The Healer”

To bind up the cancer like a concealer

Not just hide it

But transform it

Remove the cells that are attacking

While the doctors are tracking

So they can see

That God can do anything

Meanwhile I get inspired

Even when I am tired

God keeps speaking to my mind

Wanting me to reach out to the blind

I am just a man looking to share God’s plan

I reached out to this particular man

Where is the man that wanted to be

More than what the world said he could achieve

A man chasing after God

Instead of trying to avoid the rod

Common man don’t give me this or that

It is time to get back on track

What more are you waiting for

God is standing, knocking, on your front door❗️🚪

I can’t save you

But I can remind you

Jesus died to save you

He won’t run from you

No matter how long it takes

He waits patiently even when we try to be fake

Our feelings may be hurt

Put back on your shirt

Nobody wants to see that

It is time to fall flat

On our faces

And get back in God’s good graces. 🙏

I praise God for my pain

Because He allows me to see through the rain

It is just a storm

The prayers continue to transform

All my pain into a testimony

No I am not trying to be phony

My story is not over

It is hard to find like a 4 leaf clover

Buried among many chapters

I am praying for the rapture

Jesus I don’t know how much more I can take

Take a hold of my soul and shake

Cause me to remain strong

Continue to show me where I belong

Your power is stronger

And keeps me fighting longer

Hold me up

Fill my cup

Cause me to overflow

Pour out so others may grow

Closer to You Lord

It is You alone that I adore❗️
Copyright 2017 KNGMusic & Praise First Publishing

Do You Remember When…

Do you remember the first time you received bad news? Last week my wife was in the hospital with what everyone thought was pneumonia. The doctor did a bronchoscopy and didn’t find any tumors so we thought we were in the clear. The biopsy takes a couple of days to come back. I was the first one to get the phone call and the doctor said, “it is cancer.” I was immediately in shock, I didn’t know how to respond, well how could I other then scream internally and question God why why why?

Kristeen’s mom died from lung cancer that metastasized to her brain about 3.5 years ago, but her mom smoked and was much older. I couldn’t comprehend how this could be happening to such a young woman. My wife has been such a giving person of herself and her time to so many people. I immediately thought God I am not ready to give my wife to you, I need her here, my kids need her here.

Yesterday we met with the oncologist and he gave us what the treatment options are. Of course I wasn’t thrilled with our options or the fact that this cancer is not cureable according to modern day medicine, but I still hold on to the fact that I serve a miracle working God and just because the doctors say there is no way doesn’t mean that God can’t do it. My dad was told he would never walk again and he has been walking for many years still.

The prognosis was very scary, I won’t lie about that, but I had to ask what the doctors thought about how much more time I would have with my wife. Some of you may know and understand that Kristeen is at stage 4 and the cancer has spread from her lungs, to her bones, and even to her brain. I try not to focus on the time we have left, but instead leave time in God’s hand while I take in every moment I have left with my bride. I love my wife and wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.

I will leave everyone with this, don’t take anything for granted and be thankful for everything that God has blessed you with because in an instant everything can change.

Defend Your Faith – Sermon Notes

Welcome back to Faith Matters.  How has your week been?  For me and my wife we have been enjoying an awesome new house, cleaning, pulling weeds, painting, etc.  I want to thank all of you that have been praying with us.  God has been awesome and when we pray for something, God does deliver.  My wife and I have been praying for over 2 years for a house and God gave us a perfect place that meets our needs.  During our joyous time of receiving this house God has also been using my wife and I to serve in a different capacity.  I won’t go into all of the specifics because my wife may want to share this testimony later, but the cliff notes is the person that I helped get saved over a year ago on Twitter reached out to me for another person who was needing my help.  I talked with her for several days and connected her with my wife who helped minister to her until The Lord brought her home last weekend.  To most that may sound horrible, but there is something joyous when someone accepts Jesus into their life and then my wife was able to help her through her last days on this earth.  She passed just a few days ago due to Cancer.  But out of death comes life because her friend who helped and stayed by her bedside until the end was not saved until today.  Now for the rest of the story, that is to be continued next week so be sure to tune in again…

Before we get into our message for today let us open up in prayer…

Heavenly Father, thank you, thank you for blessing me, my family, and my friends.  God, words cannot describe how merciful and bountiful you have been to us.  Yesterday I had you to lean on, today you are here also, and tomorrow, I know You shall never leave my side.  Lord I pray for the ears that hear, let this message urge Your people to stand up and make a difference in the lives of someone, anyone, it doesn’t matter how many we tell about the Good News, but that we make ourselves available to be the light in this dark world.  Be with us Lord as we stand to make a change in our lives for Your glory.  In Jesus name, Amen.

I was talking to my coworker today and I told her words cannot describe or explain how much God is moving.  In my life and the lives of people that I know.  Is this happening in your inner circles as well?  If God isn’t moving in a big way for you then what might be in between you and God?  You can’t say nothing if you are being honest, we ALL have something that we put before God whether we mean to or not.

I had someone reach out to me on Instagram last night because he was having troubles with his walk with God.  I found out his mom is a minister, but he said he has been in and out of Church but couldn’t understand why he could find a true love.  I asked if I could be blunt with my questions and he said sure go ahead.  The first thing I asked was why do you have money as the background on your profile?  I asked him “do you know that the root of all evil is money according to the Bible?”

1 Timothy 6:10  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

He said “yes and advised that it was for his business” and I just simply said “well what will people think that don’t know about your business?”  He changed his background picture right away.

For those that want to know God more, what are you putting out there in the world?  Are we posting pictures of worldly things or are we portraying ourselves like the humble people that Jesus would want us to be?  You see, there is nothing wrong with money or using it, but when it becomes our love, when it becomes the reason you are living then it begins to take over your life.

The biggest thing that I have seen Christians do to lead people astray is act just like those that are lost.  Oh trust me, I am speaking yet again from experience.  I would act all Godly and righteous in front of my Christian friends, but then when they were all gone I would flip on my rap music or I would watch my MMA on TV or maybe even go out to the movie theatre and watch my Rated R movie.

You see, what I didn’t understand is that God doesn’t want us to walk like Christ just at Church on Sunday and Wednesday but every single day.  I would be good on Sunday and Wednesday, but then I would partake in telling jokes and listening to them at work.  Ha ha, I bet you never stopped to think about how the enemy can attack your soul by listening to dirty jokes at work?  You see, to be honest with ourselves the enemy is constantly looking for a weak point of entry to attack us.  Let us look at what Jesus said in a parable about the Shepherd and His Flock.

John 10:10-18

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.

Sometimes I think we have this perception that satan is only going to attack us head on.  Does this happen?  Sure it does, but why attack someone when they are paying attention?  The enemy tries to attack in such a manner that he can deceive his prey.  Why scare them when you can give them food with one hand while attacking with the other?  If you have ever been hunting, do you run out into the woods screaming and declaring you are there for dinner?  Absolutely not, you would scare away all the animals, so instead you dress to blend in, you walk slowly, you try not to alarm anyone.  Well the enemy does that also.

The difference between you hunting and the enemy hunting is he has been at it for thousands of years.  Now let me go just a step further in regards to the enemy and how he can be using you and not even know it.

Let us go ahead and take a look at your home which we all hold dear to our hearts.  No matter how big or how small your home maybe it is what God has given you.  Now let us stop and think about what activities do we let happen in our own homes.  Did you know that what you are allowing into your home could be holding back further blessings from The Lord?  Let me explain an example.

I had an old boss that would have game nights at her house.  She told me that she was a Christian and she used to be the women’s group leader at her Church.  She also told me that some of the people that came over her house was this particular couple.  She had to ask the couple to not kiss in front of her son because it would confuse him.  She said after a while they wouldn’t really listen to her request anymore.

Let me read a quick scripture to speak to how God feels about certain actions that we do as a society.

Leviticus 20:13  If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.
Now if we stop and analyze this real quick, are we inviting over people and allowing them to behave in such a way that would anger God?  During the time frame that I knew her she no longer was the leader of the women’s group, I am not sure if she stepped down or was asked to step down.  Her job was causing some major headaches for her, it appeared that no matter what she did nothing was working out and even her health started to deteriorate such that she had to take time off from work.  Now some people may say that is just a coincidence but I hold onto the truth that is in the word of God and I try my best to make sure that anything that is not pleasing to The Lord shall remain outside of my personal domain.

My next example is one that some of you parents may not think is a big deal or is it?  You raised up your teenager, they went off to college in a different state, and then they come back to visit with their boyfriend or girlfriend respectively.  They ask to stay at your house, they are already living together off at college so your teenage or young adult asks if they can just stay at your house, what do you do?  Unfortunately I can’t hear your responses, but this plays a moral dilemma for the Christian parent.  We want our kids to come back and visit us and we want to meet that special person in their life, but do you sacrifice and allow them to defile your home?  I have some friends and even family that have allowed this type of thing happen in their household.  The big picture is that sin is sin no matter how you slice it, but if you knowingly allow them to sin under your roof then you are knowingly allowing them to walk further and further away from God.  You see, sometimes you have to stand up for what is right; you have to stand up for the word of God in your household even if it hurts someone’s feelings.

It is better to hurt you with the truth then comfort you with a lie.

Now my last example of allowing the enemy into your own home is what you put on your television.  I have some friends that are Christians and they have pay per view channels.  Now I know some of the pay per view channels may be great and have the newest and best movies out there, but they also have some filth on them as well.  Are you disciplined enough to only watch the movies and shows that are pleasing to God or would you fall like so many of us to the flesh and watch the channel because there is nothing better on?  Be honest with yourself because these are real life situations that happen day in and day out and most of us don’t hesitate for a moment to even think about it.  I was there, I am speaking from experience.  I remember being excited when the “free weekend” came on for the pay per view channels and I could see what was out there to watch.  Don’t get caught by the bait that satan is throwing on his hook.  The best way to avoid these types of conflicts is to remove the situations from your household.  Don’t tempt yourself for you will surely fall to the enemy.

Now some of you may try to debate with me if God would actually hold back on His blessings or not in regards to a couple of the examples I gave.  Let me put it to you this way.  I changed my habits, I stopped letting the enemy through my front door, and I have seen God bless me more in the past 2.5 years then I have in the other 30+ years.  We can debate with God and what He has placed in the Bible, but like the judge that sits upon the throne, in the end God wins, He reigns with Authority and Victory.  Don’t try to meet God halfway because you will surely fail.

Lord, I thank you for allowing me to share what has been on my heart.  Lord I know it took me many years to finally realize that the word of God was not just words but the direction of how I should live my life daily.  Heavenly Father I pray for those that just heard this message, I pray that you will open their eyes to the things that are holding them back from walking closer with You.  Lord I know that there is always something else that we could remove that would draw us closer.  I pray that we will all learn how to become a beacon of light that draws people to You instead of allowing them to fall away.  In Your name I pray, Amen.

Thank you for tuning in with us for Faith Matters.  Please tune in next week to hear about what God has been doing in my wife’s life.  If you would like to contact me you can do so on Twitter @KNGMusic or via our website  We upload our sermons weekly and you can download them for free if there is someone that you know needs the message.  Have a blessed and wonderful day.

The Servant Heart – Sermon Notes

Welcome back to Faith Matters…

I want to jump straight into prayer today because I am excited to see how God is going to move with this message.

Heavenly Father we come together in the name of Jesus.  We are people of flesh that are withering away by the moment, but we know that through You we can live eternally.  Lord, I pray for all of those out there that are in pain and have been suffering from ailments.  I know that when I am injured it hurts and that is just temporary, but there are people out there suffering day in and day out.  Jesus I pray that today You will reach out to them with Your love, give them Your peace, and remind them of what is to come.  In Your name I pray, Amen.

It has only been a short week yet so much has changed in our world today.  But let us not start with that which may bring concern but in better news we just received word that we will be able to close on our house this Thursday.  For those of you who are new, this house is a mountain that God dug up and moved for us.  You will have to go back and listen to my previous message entitled “Sometimes No Means Not Yet” to see how mighty and powerful our Lord is.  Another striking moment that happened just yesterday is an old friend on Twitter reached out to me and for the sake of keeping her name private I will call her Sally.  Sally was the first person that I help find their way to Jesus via Twitter.  God has been working wonders in her life and I give Him all the glory for what He has accomplished.  Now we have to look towards the future and what does God have in store for us?

What does it mean to be a servant?

1) a person who performs duties for others, especially a person employed in a house on domestic duties or as a personal attendant.
2) a person employed in the service of a government.
3) a devoted and helpful follower or supporter.
Today I just talked with my friend Zanele who lives thousands of miles away from me in South Africa.  Now stop and think about that for just a moment, Faith Matters found its way to South Africa for people there to listen?  Wow, now that is all God.  Zanele has a heart of gold, she has become the hands and feet of Christ where she lives.  Zanele is battling stage 1 Cancer but when she writes her messages you would never know.  How many of us can put aside our own lives to go out and serve others?

James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

I want to give you a firsthand account of what it means to be a servant to others from the one and only Facebook post done by her friend Ashley Jude:

This is my first and probably last post.  I needed to find a way to show the world my appreciation before it’s too late.  I don’t know how this Facebook thing works but I hope I don’t mess it up.  Last year December, I met this lovely young lady Zanele in the Hospital.  She came to visit me and I was so shocked because I had never met her before.  She was struggling to walk as she was unwell but nonetheless, she made the effort to come and see me.  We spent hours just talking and she showed me the love of Christ.  I’ve recently got back home after a series of failed battles as the Doctors told me that I’m in my final stages of my Pancreatic Cancer as it has spread so much all over my body.  I have had a good sixty four years in this world and it’s time to meet my Heavenly Father.  Zanele not only came to visit me often, she wrote me letters, brought me flowers, made me laugh, made me feel special, loved me unconditionally but mostly, made the last couple of months the happiest time of my life.  I wish there were words to tell you how you have changed my life.  You came in and called me Grandma Ashley, you became my first grandchild as I have none of my own.  We have shared so many things together but your kindness, love, selflessness, and compassion, were the best things you shared with me.  I know you recently lost your best friend and I’ll send him your love when I see him, but I want you to always smile like you always do for me.  You are a treasure and you have blessed my life.  I hope those around you appreciate you a bit more.  Thank you so much my dear child, until we meet again in the next life, I love you so much.

This was the only post that Ashley did as she passed away and went to be with The Lord just hours after she posted her message of gratitude to Zanele.

Life is short, it comes and goes faster than any of us could have imagined.  The biggest question to all of us as we listen to the compassion of one friend to another is what is the next step for your life with God?  If God was to take you today, are you ready?  I have come across people today that don’t know if they will go to Heaven.  Do you know that you know that you know that will The Lord calls you home, you will be coming home to His loving arms?

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

For me personally I feel that it goes deeper than just memorizing a Bible verse.  When it comes to Jesus it is a heart thing.  We have to understand that Jesus came to this world and sacrificed His own life to save all of us.  Are you willing to die for the sins of others?  That is an excessive request to most of us.

Ashley understood that the Cancer had spread and that her life was being cut short, but she also knew that her time with Jesus was coming soon.  You may be battling pain right now, you may be battling doubts right now, you may be feeling all alone, but rest assured that you are not alone.  Jesus didn’t say go out and make everything right and come back to me tomorrow, NO, He said the way to the Father is through me.  Jesus is the key that you have been searching to get into Heaven if we would just have faith.

Zanele herself is still battling Cancer and we thank God for each new day.  For most of us we expect many more years of life, but to be honest, God can take anyone one of us today, tomorrow, or even next week.  Let us not be taken by surprise, but be prayed up for whenever we are called home.

Lord I thank you for allowing me to share a story of what it means to be a servant to others through our own actions with those listening today.  I pray that I can also learn from Zanele and be a servant unto You Lord.  It doesn’t have to be big things, but even in the little things like sharing a smile, writing a letter, telling someone that they are loved.  Lord, I thank you for giving us such a great example of Your love and I pray that we all see how we can do just a little more.  In Your name I pray, Amen.

I want to thank you for listening today to Faith Matters.  If you would like to reach out to me you can do so on Twitter @KNGMusic or via our website Remember, don’t get too concerned with today until you know that your future is secure in The Lord.  Have a fantastic day.

When Dreams Don’t Come True – Sermon Notes

Thank you for joining us here at Faith Matters.  This week has been a little nerve racking, not in a bad way, but just on pins and needles.  My wife and I are trying to buy a house and for anyone that has ever gone through that process it can be draining.  I don’t want to share all of the details just yet because I feel there is a sermon brewing with how all of this came about.  So in the coming weeks ahead I will have to explain how God told us no, and then not yet, and then yes.  Until everything with the house comes to pass please be in prayer with us that God will allow us to get this house so that our family can continue to grow and we are able to use it to minister with others.

Let us open up in prayer, Heavenly Father you are so good.  I love it when you challenge my own faith to go deeper, Lord I pray that you will continue to use me as a tool to direct people back to you.  Lord let my words be encouraging to those who hear, let my thoughts remain pure and pleasing unto you, I pray that today anyone listening will be uplifted and receive You, in Your name I pray, Amen.

Before we dig into this message too far, I want to give you a definition of the word dream.

  1. a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.
  2. the sleeping state in which this occurs.
  3. an object seen in a dream.
  4. an involuntary vision occurring to a person when awake.
  5. a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie.
  6. an aspiration; goal; aim:
  7. a wild or vain fancy.

So when I say the word dream or dreams, what do you picture?  What will it take for you to achieve your dreams?  For some of us we probably haven’t thought about our future dreams, goals, or aspirations since we were much younger.  My parents always tell me that I am the dreamer in the family.  I see things differently than other people, I don’t just see what is before me, I also see the possibility of what is to come.

Here is something that I found on the urban dictionary with the word D.R.E.A.M. broken down:

D – Dedication/Desire

R – Responsibilty

E – Education

A – Atitude

M – Motivation

You Need DESIRE, Will Power To Achieve Act Grown Up Take On RESPONSIBILTY Go To School You Need EDUCATION Keep A Positive ATITUDE With You Set A Goal To MOTIVATE Yourself

By now I am sure you would like to know why I keep talking about dreams in such a manner.  Just recently my son mentioned to me again about baseball and that I should have never stopped playing.  My dream about playing baseball in Major League Baseball was crushed many years ago, but sometimes I do like to ask myself what if?

As a child I grew up in San Diego, California and I loved to watch and play baseball.  You would think my favorite team would be the San Diego Padres, but my favorite team was actually the Atlanta Braves.  The reason is actually quite simple, due to the time zone on the East Coast the Braves games always started 3 hours earlier so I could actually watch them before it was bed time.  I would have the TV on almost every day enjoying the baseball game and yes I was doing my homework at the same time.  The commercial breaks gave me plenty of time in between to finish all of my homework before my parents got home.

My friend Joey and I loved baseball so much that we would play it in the street outside the front of the house.  Don’t worry we didn’t use a real baseball because we would have broken a bunch of windows so we replaced it with a tennis ball.  I can remember many countless evenings that we would be outside playing until the sun went down.  So growing up I played baseball every year on the local league until one day came the big day when I was finally able to try out for my high school baseball team in 9th grade.  I was really excited but really nervous at the same time.

Here was my big chance.  Now my whole life I always played first base but when I was going to try out I realized that they already had that guy picked and so I if I wanted to make the team then I would need to try a different position.  I tried out for Right Field instead, I knew every position like the back of my hand, I knew every rule in the book, I knew when to throw to which base, so I was pretty confident that I could handle this.  I did well in my tryouts, did everything they asked me to do in the field.  We went from one drill to the next, I caught the ball, I threw the ball, and I was excited for the next part.  Now came time to show if I could hit the ball.

Now I was one of the few people that could bat left handed and right handed.  I did very well from both sides of the plate, but right handed was my strongest side.  The coach pitched one ball after another and I was able to show them I could connect with no problem.  Now came the last pitch, he threw it right down the plate and I gave it my best swing, I made contact, not just a normal hit, but this ball kept soaring up and up, and landed over the fence into the tennis courts.  I was excited, I was able to show them my home run skills in tryouts.

The next day is when they announced who made the team.  We were all there at the beginning of practice waiting to hear our names called.  One by one the coach called out the names.  He said those dreadful words “last but not least…” my heart was racing with anticipation, but the last name called was not me.  It hurt, I won’t sugar coat that, I was the only person that hit a home run, I did all my drills, I didn’t blame God, but I couldn’t understand it.  As I walked home I had plenty of time to cool off on my two mile hike with my back pack from school and all my baseball gear.

Sometimes when we feel defeat, it isn’t really defeat, it just appears that way.  We must remember what the word of God says:

1 Peter 5:7  Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

I went to school the next day, asking my friends who made the team because in the heat of the moment I couldn’t remember everyone that made it and I found out that one of my friends Ryan made the team.  I was excited for him but yet upset at the same time.  You see, he wasn’t very good, frankly he was big, slow, and not good at all.  I couldn’t understand why coach picked him over me.  But I did find out why in the end and then it hurt me even more for doubting.  I found out that my friend Ryan was diagnosed with Cancer and this could be his last year alive.

This whole time I was so caught up in me me me that I was blinded by the reality that was at hand.  Do you ever get that way when you think it is all about you?  It is like a snowball effect, it starts out small and innocent, but then we get wrapped up in it and nothing else matters but self.  I let my anger blind me.

James 1:19-20  Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

So that was my 9th grade tryouts for baseball and then my parents received orders to move to Charleston.  So for my 10th grade tryouts I had to convince people that have never seen me play baseball that I could play.  I did make the team and played on our junior varsity team for Summerville High School.  I didn’t get to start but I did make my impression on the team.

Let’s fast forward to my 11th grade tryout, you would think since I played on the JV team that I would make the varsity team right?  Well not so, sometimes politics come into play and there is nothing you can do.  I just shook my head and said well God, if you don’t want me to play baseball then I guess I am done.  Once the season was over a coach reached out to me and asked if I wanted to play on the American Legion team, which if I understood correctly is where the all-stars from the high schools play during the summer.  In my mind I was like okay, thank you Lord, a second chance.  I played, I had fun, and I would definitely do it all over again.

I saw all of this to tell you this, just because one door closes doesn’t mean that you should give up or toss in the towel.  God has a unique way of directing our paths.  I can clearly tell you today that the main reason I wanted to play professional baseball wasn’t just because I loved the game, it was also because of the money.  I am pretty certain that God knew that and was steering me away from my own self destruction.

Now my oldest every now and then asks me why didn’t you keep playing?  I have to remind him that if I did he wouldn’t be here today.  I love the game, but that wasn’t where God wanted me to be.

If you have a dream I am not saying to stop trying to chase it, but I am saying does your dream line up with what God has in store for your life?  Are you chasing your dream because of your own desires or what God has placed in your heart?  You see, when you are a little kid and everyone asks you “what do you want to be when you grow up”, nobody ever tells you that what you want may not be what God wants.  I think they left that out of the textbooks in school.

I am not bitter about my baseball experience, I do wonder sometimes if the Altanta Braves would have drafted me, a left handed first basemen, I would have played well alongside Chipper Jones.  But that was then and this is now.

Today God has given me a burning desire to reach the lost.  I cherish every moment, every thought; every tweet that I feel led to post on social media.  I feel like God has given me my own niche in this world and as it develops even further I thank Him every day for His grace.

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to listen to my own personal testimony.  My life goals and dreams may be different than yours, but I pray that you have found out what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  In Him we are found, In Him we are made whole, in Him the weak are made strong.  I pray that the words spoken today have touched your heart, don’t let the flesh take over what you are trying to accomplish, when you lose control cry out to The Lord, and let Him bring you back to the playing field.

If you would like to contact me you can do so on Twitter @KNGMusic or on our website at Thank you for stopping to listen, we greatly appreciate your time and we pray that you have been blessed.  Have an awesome day in The Lord.