If You Only Knew – Poem

If you only knew

What happened when I was through

I tried to give up

But for some reason God refilled my cup

I tried to run away

But God called me back and invited me to stay

How many times must I try to run

Every time my life comes undone

My pain is more than I can bear

Which is why I cry to Jesus because this world is not fair

Broken relationships almost did me in

Then I was reminded of how Jesus forgives our sin

But God you just don’t understand

How many times I have been burnt, I can’t count them on one hand

Lord I can’t do this anymore

I keep falling and hitting the floor

Why can’t you end this life of mine

You are in charge not Father Time

No matter what the score

I can’t come back anymore

This game is over, I am finished

I was strong like Popeye and his spinach

But then reality set in

And I finally gave in

How can I face tomorrow

When today already has me in sorrow

You don’t understand

I have always been banned

Turned away

Every person pushed, that came my way

But now You say it will all be okay?

How do You know, this pain won’t go away

I pray and pray and ask to be set free

But the shade continues to come like an oak tree

Caught up in darkness no matter how hard I fight

Jesus I think it is time to turn off this light

And say goodnight

Then I will be alright

Stuck in darkness with nothing to see

I don’t think You have the power to break me free

I should have been gone a long time ago

But You came and sat next to me like a bro

God my pain it causes such strain

Just like my newspaper caught in the rain

The words are beginning to smear

Please take away all my fear

I know I can’t do this alone

But thank God You are sitting upon the throne

Help me God to over come

Remove everything that has caused me to become numb

I pray dear God that today will change

I am tired of feeling so strange

My bride needs You more than me

Yet my own fear is all I can see

Lord we pray for continued healing

You know how hard I have been dealing

Trying to get past what satan has been stealing

Back on my knees I continue kneeling

Praying for something more

Praying you will open a new door

We need a breakthrough in her body and for my soul

Restore what satan has stole

God my heart is weak

I come before You, the outcome looks bleak

Please dear God give me more time

The time has come for me to end this rhyme

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